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Wind, warmth and nostalgia

Driving through the rain drenched roads awash with cold wind which hit my face without mercy, I was transported into realm of silence until I chance upon you driving through the same road enjoying the bliss of rain on the bike you love racing along with the speed you favour most, a passionate recklessness coupled with wild abandon oozed out of you, attractive it was to see you in your own world and in that moment the rain and wind froze... ceased to exist, it's you alone holding my mind in your grasp, the cold wind brazing my face just adds the right amount of chill to my already shivering heart which is beating against the rib cage.

I see you laugh with the person sitting behind you, the fun and frolic you are experiencing is drains away my energy but I sit mutely not wanting to surrender to tears, but memories pierce one after other testing my will, 
I dare myself to not cry, not succumb to bitterness towards you nor me nor 'us' in the past, 
I feel suffocated for a brief moment thinking you are happy without me.. 
You are as you are.. My memories never stand a chance to your strong mind, you are the same logical, practical person who keeps emotions in check.. It dawns upon me the realisation of what 'we' shared and what 'I' lost, was 'we' ever there in your mind? Probably not..I realise with a finality that I never was clear, you never gave me a clear picture either for your feelings or 'our relationship'

A bittersweet smile tug my lips and I look ahead.. I feel your eyes on me as I close my eyes welcoming the coldness.
Lightning strikes followed by thunder and rain pours 
All the while I still feel your eyes on me..

pic courtesy:pixabay

On the other hand completely unrelated to the above fiction post, I am listening to 'Shooting star by Owl city', maybe it's high time to shine in the darkness!! :)


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