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Unsent Letter

Dear S,

I know you'll flinch reading the 'S' in the first line, but sorry I can't help it. I don't want to address you with your name. I have always asked you what I am to you and I never got a clear response from you but instead received more questions from you! Seriously dude!! Your questions made me introspect myself, our relationship and also about you. Really..What I am to you?

We aren't acquaintances or lovers, you are in love with your girl friend and she with you. 
We aren't friends anymore, we were friends until we stepped beyond the boundaries of friendship, even if it was just one step! You know what was going on in my mind, you said me to think practically, well actually I did a lot of thinking and well it was just thinking..over thinking which led me astray.

And then came a day I thought of staying away as a first step to.. to whatever it was, but you wanted to talk , I didn't mind until I knew it was about your love.
What actually were you thinking when you spoke about your love story, your problems, her problems and also your wedding preparations!
How could you be so indifferent towards my feelings?

You never know how I felt the moment I realized I was in love with you, that euphoric feeling.
You never know the pain I underwent when I realized you were in love with someone else, that free fall feeling, and the moment you started to crib over your lover and I taking the role to soothe and calm you down and speak of positiveness and true love!

You think it was all a cakewalk to me?  Every night I chided myself, controlled the angry tears, vowing that I'll 'move on', but who I am kidding, I know there'll never be a move on but a bury-the-feelings-and-never-let-it-show phase to learn.

The final nail was when you felt your love life was slipping away and you lamented saying how precious your girlfriend is, how you recognize the value of it now!

Seriously you acknowledge your own love now? 
On the other hand a realization dawned that- you'll never miss me or our relationship even a bit! It hurt me the most when I didn't speak with you for weeks and you never even texted a single word! 

But my dear, I just wish... 

Whenever you look at night sky
I pass your mind
Not as a prelude to star,
but as the dark night sky

Whenever you stumble across me in your memories
Look inside your heart
I reside in the dark corners
As a sealed dark secret of yours!

I am not the sweet angel you love, but the dark angel who lingers around your mind like smoke..

Do I need to write my name?
I think no.

image courtesy : pinterest


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